It's about the struggle in change.
It's about saying farewell to a beloved old system and hoping to fall in love as deeply with the new one. We change, we transition, we evolve. Sometimes we have to fight through darkness to arrive at that new place.
I waited for Bento. I wanted to be able to shape my face, rescue as much of my look as I could. The change to a Bento head was stymied, though, by the lack of a skin that I could adore as much as I adored my old one. And then I saw Angi's photography and her new skin in demo. I was immediately hooked. I wouldn't be the "same", I always knew that would never happen, but I'd be somewhere similar. I wouldn't lose myself. In some ways, I would be better.
My Second life transition to a new look parallels some very dark and frightening First Life changes. A new city, trying to find new work, and struggling not to succumb to the constant spectre of depression and anxiety as I try to keep my head above water. Despair seems to be my constant companion these days. I will never be the same, if I survive. But I hope I will be better.
In another instance of art mirroring life, this piece was a struggle to put together. It began as a much more violent idea and the thought of making a video. I had to break myself down to just a photo for right now, and even then producing and editing have nearly broken me. This photo was intended to be much bloodier and darker, but faced with my own limited experience in fine photo editing and the lack of proper tools (especially a tablet) I had to break down again after days of failed attempts at producing the effects I had in my head and simplify yet more.
On the bright side, I'm in the Ira Glass gap. I have taste. I can tell my work is still not great, I see the potential but I still have that journey ahead of me, where what I want, what I expect, meets what I'm making. And every piece I produce teaches me something new.
Old Skin: Pulse - Lace Creame no. 1 (I miss you Lorac)
New Skin Session - Fae 01
Body: Maitreya - Lara
Head: Catwa - Kimberly
Hair: Truth - Fenella
Mask: YUMESH- Mask 05, textured with my old skin
LumiPro for studio lighting. Windlight for backdrop lighting.
My evolution for driving me.
Tool for the soundtrack. youtu.be/f8aT9oRp95A